Insanity is Insane…& WARNING! TMI Ahead… Like bodily functions, and stuff. Ew.

The gym is where I go to clear my head, reset my intentions, and sweat out my angst. Tonight, I grabbed my headphones and my determination and headed for my favorite treadmill. My plan was waylaid as I was accosted at the top of the stairs by a “friendly” little instructor, (who was in fact not little at all, but a 6’5” tall tanned mirror image of a female Olympic Volleyball Champ) saying “Hey, come join this class! I’ve never seen you before, wanna give it a try?”.

Well you can imagine how this is going to turn out….

Since I’m in “Try new things mode” and she said the magic word, I decided it must be a GREAT idea to join the “Insanity” class. Turns out it’s aptly named.

Now, I don’t consider myself an athlete (just a Try-athlete, remember?) and I don’t consider myself super fit. This was confirmed tonight. You are all very lucky I don’t have a way to video myself during class.

I’ll probably regret it tomorrow, but I did have fun. I think. Considering it’s literally been minutes since I dragged myself home on jell-o legs, I can’t be sure. Let me say, though, that I’m SO grateful for Phytosport. One of my tasks this month is to test all the Arbonne products I can, and this one is not a joke. The pre-during-and post drinks work. I’ve used them a few times this week; for a run, for Barre class, and now for Insanity. Endurance, hydration, recovery, boom.

Here’s my big concern of the night though; Why is WonderWoman allowed to come in to class 10 minutes late and make the rest of us look like the underdogs from Dodgeball the Movie (before they become awesome)? It’s not fair. I kid you not, she walked in with her boobs to HERE and her skirt up to THERE and SUNGLASSES ON HER HEAD. THE WHOLE TIME.

She did not have a water bottle. She did not have a towel to wipe the sweat running down her face because there was no sweat. But she did have an 8 pack of Abs and LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Her sunglasses never moved from her perfectly coiffed hair. Not even during plank-squiggle-frogger whatevers.

All I had were my jogging tights with the hole in the thigh, my full size towel needed for the sweat ocean I created, and my Phytosport. It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok.

Now, I promised you TMI so lets get into that…..

WARNING : If you’ve ever thought of me in a boy/girl (or girl/girl!!!) way, considered me pretty, or looked up to me as super human and without bodily functions, THAT ENDS HERE! In the name of science and blogging and all that is health, here goes nothing…

I’m 11 days into my 30 days towards awesomeness, and my protein and fiber intake has increased greatly. This often changes one’s digestive regularity. Personally, I struggle with IBS. (Irritable bowel syndrome, look it up, I’m not gonna spill every yucky detail). When I’m anxious, my gut speeds up and I need to live close to a bathroom. Sometimes it’s because I’ve eaten ice cream, or other high sugar/dairy foods, sometimes it’s just a physical reaction to an emotional state. I’ve been this way since I was 15 and have never really talked to anyone about it because I’m so extremely embarrassed. Yes, I’m a nurse. That’s different!! All day long I chart my patient’s “output”.  I help them with commodes, bedpans, urinals, and diapers… but when it comes to me, at home, No Way. The bathroom door stays CLOSED. I do not do #2!!!!

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See the toilet in the background? I never use it. I swear. 

But the truth is we all do. My good and interesting news is that within 1o days of taking high quality pre/pro biotics and eliminating some inflammatory products from my diet, I am not struggling with IBS. In the last week I even went through my menstrual cycle (plug your ears, close your eyes, I’m sorry!) and it was NOT THAT BAD. Frequently, that time of month my intestinal tract goes crazy with bloating, etc. Acne flairs under my chin and I feel like I belong in a sideshow. This time around, my symptoms were very mild. My skin stayed virtually clear;  minor cramps and bloating bothered me for just for about 1 day.

In addition, I’ve watched my #s go down…as in lbs and inches. But I’m not ready to post any of that yet, the plan is to give it a full 30 days then show a before and after. I know this is keeping everyone in suspense, but it’s honestly not about these #s, and I want to keep the focus in the right place.

Did I mention I’m not counting calories??!!  I’ve spent many years in an unhealthy relationship with calories, and we are divorced now for good! So much time wasted counting up those little numbers…

calories

In the past when I’ve done cleanses or added supplements the daily menu consists of swallowing pills….pills for energy, pills for elimination, pills for vitamins, etc…That works for some, but I hate taking handfuls of pills. My current plan consists of Fizz sticks to replace coffee, (tasty) detox tea at night, (yummy and soothing) protein shakes, recovery shakes, lots of water….and yes, it seemed like a lot at first. At first it seemed a bit like a liquid diet…even though I’m eating tons of whole, delicious food. The nice thing about the shakes is that they taste good and they’re portable! Taking shakes to work instead of packing lunch has been a huge benefit.

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Water, protein shake, tea, fizz stick. Fully belly, energy to spare. 

One trick is that I make my shakes the night before – and by the way, I finally figured out the secret to making them delicious and creamy and milk-shakey instead of grainy and spinach-y. Lunch and dinner are either a shake, OR a plate full of food I already love to eat.

I’m also not counting calories. Wow, have I even mentioned that? I’ve spent a lot of years in an unhealthy relationship with calories, and we are divorced now for good! So much time wasted counting up those little numbers…

I LIKE having a meal routine. I LOVE trying new recipes. And the fact that the probiotic gets mixed with my morning water instead of swallowing a pill makes me very happy.

11 days in, so far so good! My tummy is happy! My skin is happy! And if I can just figure out how WonderWoman keeps from looking like a sweaty bag of noodles at the end of Insanity Class, my week will be complete!

 

Have you tried anything to improve your digestive issues? Or noticed if you eliminate certain foods or add something in that your skin and belly feel and look better? My suspicion is that it’s worth a try. Google “Microbiome”…you would not believe how the little micro organisms in our intestines rule the rest of our body.

One thought on “Insanity is Insane…& WARNING! TMI Ahead… Like bodily functions, and stuff. Ew.

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