I’m single for the first time in 14 years. To my surprise….and dismay… there isn’t a never ending supply of appealing, eligible bachelors lined up to woo me. ABC hasn’t called to enlist me as the next “Bachelorette”, and while fall weather has begun, it’s certainly not “raining men”.
I didn’t expect my dance card would be full every night….but I also didn’t think the first few months as a sassy single would leave me feeling invisible to the opposite sex.
Do I need to send out announcements? Wear a sandwich board? Learn a special hand signal to flash in a crowd of people?
In Hawaii females wear a flower over their left ear to display their single status…. should I hang a pinecone from my left ear, advertising myself as an eligible PNW native?
Perhaps it’s rose colored hindsight, but seems like when I was married or otherwise monogamously committed, there was no shortage of men requesting my company.
They weren’t exactly falling at my feet….but my phone number was asked for, there was occasionally a hopeful waiting in the wings, and numerous scenarios when I uttered the phrase “I’m sorry…I have a boyfriend.” and walked away quickly before I did something stupid.
This summer I flitted around to different beach towns in various stages of summer un-dress… laying out in the sun, throwing the ball for my dog, and eating alone in restaurants. I couldn’t have been more obvious if I’d had a cardboard sign or had written in the sand with a stick:
“Single. Seeking Rebound. Apply Within.”
NOT ONCE was I approached. NOT ONCE did I get a double take, a “come here often?” or “can I buy you a drink?”. (The answer to a drink would be NO, of course, But hell, I’d appreciate the offer!
I may have had an exaggerated expectation of what it would be like to be single…Too many episodes of Sex and the City perhaps?
Maybe it’s my age, and the fact that I’m not spending much time at bars or clubs anymore. Perhaps (as I’ve been accused of more than once) I really do have a bad case of RBF, and I’m too scary to talk to.
Or maybe…. the Universe is looking out for me. Ensuring that my vacation in Singleland is purposeful and enjoyable. That instead of rushing through it, trying to get to the next great thing, I stop to breathe and smell the roses (which I can just buy for myself!)
Ok….maybe if I stop wearing sweats and actually do my hair and makeup when I go to the grocery store, I’d get noticed and asked to a coffee date once in a while. 🙂
Thanks, Universe, for saving me from my own impulsive behavior during a vulnerable time. For teaching me the lesson that I don’t need a date with a man to feel important, worthy, confident or beautiful. These are attitudes I can cultivate in myself, for myself.
You can’t protect me from myself all of the time though. I’m not helpless….if the dates don’t come to me, I do know how to find them myself. Maybe I’ll share some of those stories next time. Meanwhile I’m trying to be patient, and trying to be good.
And I’m not asking anyone to give my info to all the attractive single males they know. Only if they’re between the ages of 28-45, and really athletic and intelligent. Just kidding, really, I’m not asking anyone to set me up. Unless they’re also from Australia or Spain and speak with a delicious accent. I’m joking! I’m seriously taking advantage of this time to get know myself. (Unless you actually know one of those guys. In that case my number is……)
Cheers and Gratitude,